


Riddles in the Dark

by Sparks_of_Inspiration



Category: Le Fantôme de l'Opéra | Phantom of the Opera & Related Fandoms, The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Crossover, Gen, Minor Violence, One Shot, Threats of Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-16
Updated: 2020-07-16
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:41:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24890980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sparks_of_Inspiration/pseuds/Sparks_of_Inspiration
Summary: The Persian and the Phantom have a game of riddles in the cellars of the Paris Opera.
Kudos: 2





	Riddles in the Dark

My lantern had gone out.

Being in the pitch-black bowels of an opera house whose various cellars were so immense one could easily become hopelessly lost even _with_ a source of light, this turn of events was not at all ideal. I knew the monster was holding the young singer hostage down here (no matter how much he insisted otherwise) and I simply could not sit idly by and leave the poor girl to such a terrible fate. The problem I now faced was actually getting to the monster's house; I knew it was across the underground lake from the shore where I was currently sat, but crossing it without him knowing would be an impossible task. I had already tried and failed.

Yet I could not go back either; I was not very well acquainted with the various winding passages underneath the opera and had no chance of finding my way back above ground blind. I was stuck.

So I waited.

After a wearying length of time I finally heard a slight splashing echo through the otherwise silent and tomb-like chamber. I could see a pair of luminous eyes floating through the darkness across the lake, and soon the boat touched the shore. The monster immediately leapt from the boat and came right up to me.

"You have been here for twenty-four hours," he said, "and you're annoying me. I tell you, this will all end very badly, and you will have brought it on yourself. I know you've been watching me and following me. I see everything. And if you do not leave me alone, I tell you, this will all end very badly, very badly indeed!"

"But you are not alone!" I protested, "you have Christine Daae with you and are keeping her locked up!"

"She is with me of her own volition because she loves me for myself. It is no business of yours what guests I see in my own house. If you do not learn to stop sticking your nose where it doesn't belong, Daroga, you will come to regret it!"

I watched him for a moment as he paced about angrily and pouted like a naughty child whose mischief was being spoiled. A thought then dawned on me.

"Is this all a game to you, Erik?" I asked. He stopped his pacing and looked directly at me.

"Life is a game, Daroga," the monster replied, "and no one ever plays fair. No one! Once you realize that, you can have all the fun you like. Yes, it is a game. I enjoy games a great deal. Do you, Daroga? Do you like games? Would you like to play one?"

"Erik," I said sternly, "you cannot continue on this way, but if you must, then leave Mademoiselle Daae out of it."

"What business is it of yours what I do with my own things!" He spluttered in a burst of rage, "you had better leave now, if you know what's good for you, or else you will find it will end very badly for you - very badly indeed! - and you will have brought it upon yourself!"

"I couldn't leave if I wanted to!" I said quickly, beginning to fear that this moment would be my last.

" _Why?_ " The monster hissed. I clasped my shaking hands around the dead lantern to still them, taking a deep breath to compose myself the best I could.

"I cannot find my way back. These cellars are a blind labyrinth and I do not know the way out," I answered. He cocked his head as his glowing eyes bore into me.

"You mean to say," he began slowly, "that you are lost?"

"Yes...yes, and I would like to get unlost as soon as possible," I said. He was quiet for a moment, seeming to contemplate something. As he did I heard the slow, rhythmic movement of fabric and knew with a chill down my spine that the monster was fiddling with his Punjab lasso.

"I do enjoy games," he said at length, "let's play one. Do you like riddles, Daroga? Let's have a game of riddles, you and I. Oh, it must be a competition, a competition of course! Let me see...if I ask and you do not answer, I’ll put an end to your meddling in my affairs _for good_. If you ask Erik, and he does not answer, then I will show you the way out."

"Very well then," I said, not daring to disagree and nearly bursting my brain to think of riddles that could save me from being killed. "You ask first."

So the monster hissed:

"What has roots as nobody sees,

Is taller than trees,

Up, up it goes,

And yet never grows?"

"Mountain, I suppose," I answered. It was a rather easy riddle to solve. I saw his glowing eyes bob up and down in the darkness to confirm that my answer was correct. He seemed irritated that I'd guessed the answer so quickly and so said nothing, merely waiting for me to ask him a question.

"Thirty white horses on a red hill,

First they champ,

Then they stamp,

Then they stand still."

That was all I could think of to ask. It was rather an old one, and the monster knew it right away.

"Why, that’s the easiest riddle I’ve ever heard!" he laughed. He was rather vain and self-conceited, always reveling in the chance to prove his genius. "Teeth! But I have only six, such a mouth as I have!" For a brief moment he lost focus and was silent, no doubt thinking about his monstrous visage. Just as quickly he came back to the present moment and asked his second:

"Voiceless it cries,

Wingless flutters,

Toothless bites,

Mouthless mutters."

"Half a moment!" I cried, as I was still thinking uncomfortably about the monster's hideous mouth. Fortunately I had once heard something rather like this riddle before, and getting my wits back I thought of the answer. "Wind, wind of course," I said, and attempting to end the game I made up one on the spot. _This'll puzzle the nasty underground creature_ , I thought:

"An eye in a blue face

Saw an eye in a green face.

"That eye is like to this eye"

Said the first eye,

"But in low place,

Not in high place.""

The monster was kicking his heels against the bank in mild frustration; he had been underground a long time, and was forgetting this sort of thing. But just as I was beginning to hope that the wretch would not be able to answer, he brought up memories of ages before, when he lived with his mother in an unremarkable little flat just outside of Paris.

"Sun on the daisies you mean, Daroga," he said.

I could tell that the riddle had made him think of all the simple pleasures of the aboveground that he so often had to forego, which had in turn reminded him of just how sneaky and nasty and lonely he was, and that put him out of temper. So this time he tried something a bit more difficult and more unpleasant:

"It cannot be seen, cannot be felt,

Cannot be heard, cannot be smelt.

It lies behind stars and under hills,

And empty holes it fills.

It comes first and follows after,

Ends life, kills laughter."

The mention of killing put me on edge again, for I knew it meant that our deal was still at the forefront of the monster’s mind. Fortunately I did not have to think much; I had heard that sort of riddle before, and the answer was all around us anyway. "Dark!" I said immediately.

"A box without hinges, key, or lid,

Yet golden treasure inside is hid,"

I asked to gain time, until I could think of a really hard one. This I thought a dreadfully easy riddle, though I had not asked it in the usual words. But it proved a nasty poser for the monster. He whispered and spluttered and muttered to himself, but still he did not answer.

After some while I became impatient. "Well, what is it?" I said. "The answer's not a kettle boiling over, as you seem to think from the noise you are making."

"Give Erik a chance!” He huffed. I could hear his angry stomping as he paced back and forth along the bank, occasionally kicking stones that were in his way.

"Well," I said, trying to stop the tantrum from escalating any further, "what about your guess?"

But suddenly Erik stopped in his tracks and let out a quiet gasp. "Eggs!" he hissed. "Eggs, it is!" My heart sank; Erik was not a patient man, and the longer this game went on the more likely it was that what little patience he had would run dry. The monster did not share my disappointment, quickly asking his next question:

"Alive without breath,

As cold as death;

Never thirsty, ever drinking,

All in mail never clinking."

The monster swung back into his boat like a monkey, plopping himself down with his arms crossed. He was proud of himself for having solved my riddle as well as having thought up the riddle he had asked me. To him it was a dreadfully easy one, because his house on the lake was surrounded by the answer; but he knew it was a poser for me, as I never had anything to do with the water if I could help it. I sat and cleared my throat once or twice as I toyed nervously with my dead lantern, but no answer came.

After a while the monster began to hiss and giggle with pleasure to himself, peering at me out of the darkness with those luminous yellow eyes.

"Half a moment," I said shivering. "I gave you a good long chance just now."

"You must make haste, Daroga, make haste!" said the ghost, beginning to climb out of his boat and on to the shore to get at me. But when he put one skeletal foot in the water, a fish jumped out in a fright and fell on my toes.

"Ugh! It is cold and clammy!" I shouted, and in saying so I realized the answer. "Fish! Fish!" I cried. "It is fish!"

Erik was dreadfully disappointed, and I could hear him snapping the rope of his lasso in warning; but I quickly asked another riddle so that the monster had to get back into his boat and think.

"No-legs lay on one-leg, two-legs sat near on three-legs, four-legs got some."

"Fish on a little table, man at table sitting on a stool, the cat has the bones,” he answered flatly. I upbraided myself inwardly at having asked that riddle; it was a near-perfect description of the ghost’s daily routine! Of _course_ he would know the answer right away! I could tell that by now his patience was nearly gone, especially since his next riddle was hard and horrible. This is what he said:

"This thing all things devours:

Birds, beasts, trees, flowers;

Gnaws iron, bites steel;

Grinds hard stones to meal;

Slays king, ruins town,

And beats high mountain down."

I sat in the dark thinking of all the horrible things that I had seen the monster do in the past, hoping that just one of them might give me a clue as to what wretched image he had conjured up in his mind. I had a feeling that I ought to know it, but none of what I could recall matched all the verses. I was getting frightened, and that was bad for my thinking. The monster began to get out of his boat, and I could see his eyes coming towards me in the darkness. Now I was in an absolute panic, for I knew that any given second could be my last. I wanted to shout out, to beg for more time, but it felt as if the lasso were already around my neck, my fear choking me to the point where all I could do was squeal:

"Time! Time!"

I was saved by pure luck. “Time” was the answer.

The monster was furious now, huffing and blowing like a walrus and tossing his arms erratically about. Then suddenly, eerily, he was completely calm and still. He gracefully walked over and sat down mere inches from me.

"I’m tired of this game, Daroga," he said with unnerving serenity, “ask me one more question, and only one. It will be the deciding round.”

I knew he was sitting close to intimidate me so that I would lose the game, and I knew that he knew that I knew; that did not, however, lessen the tactic's effectiveness. I simply could not think of another riddle to ask, especially with death himself breathing down my neck.

"Ask! Ask Erik a question!" the monster cackled as he looped and re-looped his lasso in anticipation. In a desperate attempt to save myself I dove my hands into my pockets, only to find that my pocketknife was missing. There was, however, some foreign object that I did not recall ever putting there.

"What have I got in my pocket?" I said in surprise. I was talking only to myself, but the monster had heard me and thought it was a riddle.

"Not fair! Not fair!" he shrieked, snatching my lantern and tossing it far off into the darkness where it landed with a loud splash. "It’s against the rules! Ask Erik another one!"

It took me a moment to comprehend what he was talking about. When I finally realized the misunderstanding I made no attempt at clearing it up, as I had nothing else to ask anyway.

"No! You said to ask you a question, and I did!" I protested.

“It’s not a riddle!” he squawked in protest, “it’s not fair!”

"Did you not say yourself earlier that no one ever plays fair, and that once I realized that I could truly begin to have fun? Well, I’m having that fun now, so I ask you, what have I got in my pocket?”

He growled; I had trapped him with his own words, and the only thing keeping him from killing me out of pure rage at that moment was the slightest sense of amazement at my having done so.

“You must give Erik three guesses,” he said through clenched teeth.

“Very well, ask away,” I said quickly. I could tell he was absolutely seething.

"Hands!" he guessed.

"Wrong," I said, as I had luckily just taken my hand out again. "Guess again!"

The monster growled again, more upset than ever. "Knife!" he guessed again.

"Wrong!" I said, suddenly grateful for my pocketknife’s mysterious disappearance.

The monster gave a shout of anger. He threw himself down and beat the ground with his fists and his feet, growling and moaning and hissing all the while, but still he did not want to waste his final guess. It was a rather spectacular tantrum, but I was too desperate to get back aboveground to let it play out any longer.

"Time's up!" I said.

"String, or nothing!" Erik shrieked, rapidly standing back to his full height.

"Both wrong," I said, very much relieved. The monster moaned and flopped back down onto the damp stone, beginning to weep with awful, ugly sobs. He lay like that for quite some time, not acknowledging that I was still there. At this point I should have tried to slip away, as I had already had incredible luck making it this long alive, but I still did not know the way out.

"Well?" I asked nervously, "what about your promise? I want to go. You must show me the way."

He suddenly went very still, his weeping stopped. I could feel my heart pounding in my ears as I waited to see what he would do. Finally I could see his yellow eyes turning toward me, staring at me with intense loathing.

"Did Erik say so? Show you the way out?” He asked in a near whisper.

“Yes, you did,” I replied, “and you must keep your word!”

“But what _have_ you got in your pocket, eh?” he asked me, disregarding my reply. “Not string…but not nothing…"

"Never you mind," I said quickly, trying to keep him focused, "a promise is a promise."

“Promise?” he echoed, as if it reminded him of something. His eyes went suddenly wide as he sprang to his feet. “Promise! Her promise! Her hand, it was bare! It must have slipped off! Her promise…lost…but where could it…?”

I felt my entire being turn to ice as he slowly shifted his gaze toward me. The strange object I had felt in my pocket had been in the shape of a ring, one which I now vaguely recalled having found abandoned on the floor of some corridor. I had no idea at the time whom it belonged to, but now I feared I knew _exactly_ on whose hand the plain gold ring was meant to be.

“What…have you got…in your nasty…little…pocket… _Daroga?”_ The monster asked, his voice dripping with deadly malice. I could see sparks flying from his yellow eyes. I swallowed in fear, my heart racing, and attempted to open my mouth in reply, but before I had time to say anything I received a blow to the head that enveloped me in a darkness deeper than that of the tomb-like chamber all around us.

**Author's Note:**

> He didn’t kill him he just knocked him out. Why? Because I said so idk


End file.
